Making it on your own.


A dream I think we all set for ourselves.

We embrace the very vision of complete independance, and the ability to become "successful" in our own eyes, whatever the definition of that maybe.

This past week has shown me just exactly the difficulty of that, but not without showing me that faint flickering of an ignited wick in the distance. Some days it glows brighter, some days, you don't even see it, but just have faith that it's there.

It's time for me to put my money where my mouth is.

I'm up against a set of circumstances right now, that if I explained to my mom, would be the perfect opportunity for her to say, "Stop wasting your time right now, come home, your Dad would be so sad right now if he saw how you were living, you don't even have enough money to live properly, and you can at least give me company here som I'm not all by myself."

It's tough, feeling the guilt I already do, for leaving Mom at home on her own, but all along I've had this vision of reaching my definition of "success" while being able to appease her definition as well, to ease my conscience maybe just a bit. But working in production right now at Roadtrip, I am technically an intern at the moment, and that compensates you anything but enough to "make it on your own". I found out my wage today, and it's actually not even enough to get by living with a rent of 110$, eat, and take care of my bare necessities, so sacrifices to my lifestyle must be made. Of course the knowledge, the profound mission of roadtrip, the fulfillment, is not only my light, but my life's aim, so I need to just suck it up.

I just constantly feel like sometimes I move farther back to where I started before, but I gotta lay my faith in knowing that the hardships are the investments for the rise to come. It's tough cause everything else loses a bit of balance, and in pursuit of your dreams, you have to sacrifice certain things, and I guess for me right now it's dealing with that tough realization that's jabbing at me.

I guess this is the time in life where my hardships will define me, do i fold up and listen to some tell me how much I'm not making it, or I can put my head down grind, fall in love with the commitment of the end goal I'm working towards, and in the meantime live more humbly than I ever have had to in my life. At least there's still music to make, basketball to play, and a roof to live under. The Beautiful Struggle makes more sense than ever to me now.



I've just been in check out new music mode lately, and just posting the hot fi-yah other people make. Check out Crystal Castles, and I like listening to this track and comparing the way they used this sample and the way that Timbaland uses it in Ayo Technology.

sick sick track, dope dope video
The Golden Filter - Solid Gold

Love This Track!

Break of Reality - Circles
Amazing storytelling with their music.

Chuck Norris protects baker

Store bosses have seen off burglars by placing a life-sized photo of Hollywood action star Chuck Norris in the window.

Chuck Norris /Rex

The posh bakery shop in Split, Croatia, had been broken into almost every week until they put up the poster of the karate champ with a sign saying: "This shop is under the protection of Chuck Norris."

Now the bakery hasn't had a single burglary for more than a month.

Sales assistant Mirna Kovac said: "To be honest we just started it as a joke but it really has worked. Thieves haven't been anywhere near us for ages. People seem to respect him.

"Everyone around here has seen his films and he's quite a popular character, perhaps even among criminals, so they've decided to leave us alone."

She added though: "We have had a few customers come in and ask us whether they can get Chuck's autograph. They really believe he is sitting in our storeroom out the back ready to pounce on any burglars."

via - Ananova.Com

bouncing around unstability
roadtripping the country
reshifting home back down south
wading through transition
exploring new realities

So much to decompress.
It's at a point where it's so much, right now examining it as a collective almost feels like it's just one gigantic ball of monotony and indecipherable codes. I need to try and get it back down to basics, and attack one thing at a time, prioritize, and resolve each issue in order of importance to me. It's the great unknown out there for me, while I see the leap of faith into endless open doors, I also sense and feel the vastness, that leaves me wondering if i will be able to latch onto anything.

It's a weird sense of hyped excitement, but also at the same time a sense of dull worry, maybe it's my struggle to come to grips that the perpetual change in circumstances within my life for the past 2 years might actually be settling down, and I'm in a sense of disbelief that I have complete ownership and grip on my bearings.

Maybe I'm slowing down from it all back into familiar settings, but realizing that while I was gone, that these familiar settings have undergone their own makeover and shifts as well.

Hopefully it's just a temporary discombobulation while the dust settles, cause with all that is unsteady, I can still remain focused on what it is I know I'm going to do, and the causes I'm gonna be investing myself into.

We'll see how it all goes.

makes you wanna say
"EFF GIRLS I JUST WANNA DANCE!"
he's got a dope sound and he can kill it on the beat box as well.
Peep his stuff, I think you'll diggggity dig it.

Better Off As Two


Three Little Words


Icebox Cover (yes Omarion's)

Thanks to Timm Nasario! - English Ink Shop, Costa Mesa
Timm's Past Work/Art

History Made.