Had a dope farewell night for Omaro, after getting booted from the last flight home, so I guess I'm just gonna pull the all nighter, sit and reflect til my flight at 6:45. I wanted to get home tonight since Ate was gonna be in Brazil, and Kuya is heading off for the weekend so I could keep mom company, and get a chance to see Tito Jack(Dad's Bro). He's also been battling cancer and was in surgery for over 14 hours tonight, and unfortunately it has spread, but I know Tito Jack will fight on with that charismatic personality of his and carry on in his jovial manner that'll inspire us all.
It blows my mind when i think about the events occurring around us in our world, from Iran to North Korea, to the deaths of the popular figures in society.
It brought me to contemplation, of is it that time in my life where I'm getting older and that life isn't this postive experience as much as I try to make it for myself, and is actually a difficult experience where suffering is in abundance? In college I definitely saw the world as more black and white as far as a great place filled with opportunity.
I guess as you grow older and you run into your own struggles, and deal with the changes in life that come with passing time, you reach a fork in the road to make a decision about the way you view life, and how you choose to deal with what occurs in it. I think I'm at that point.
While I have grown and I don't see life as much anymore as this black and white portrait, and I don't see it as this constant rising high, I see the peaks, I see the valleys, and I see the gray area. I see the suffering, I see the pain, even more so I feel it myself.
But what also has grown I guess, is the capacity to understand contentment in life. That life and our outlook upon shouldn't be dictated by the highs and lows of constant and ever changing temporary things. I wanna live in that gray area, where the joys and the sorrows, the melancholy and the glorious are all embedded into the experience of life, where loss shows you truly what you have, where gains symbolize just how blessed one is. I'm learning to place stock in the permanent and defining aspects of my life. The work I wish to do, The values I believe in, and my application of those to the world to hopefully leave it better than when i came into it. So I'm facing it, life isn't the 100% pleasant ride, but it is a profound experience that if we continue to accept and learn from every step of the way, can lead us to something much more powerful than exciting moments, and life highs, but to a sense of fulfillment and purpose for our lives. Sorry if it sound like im rambling, but everything going in my life has got me in this constant state of analyzing, and I just needed to decompress it in some sort of way, good night.
Peace.Love.Positivity.
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