!Empower!

Been awhile since i've just done a free write and just kinda let it rip, without trying to decompress and analyze everything, and I think every once in a while that's necessary for the soul, to release your thoughts as they come out through instinct and what feels natural within your stream of consciousness and train of thought. some of it will seem out of place or random, but im just going through of bunch of diff ideas in my head so that's why it'll be funky in spots. The mood music for writing i chose was Another Reflection by the one and only Nujabes.

comin to that time
when the pressures blowin back
beggin me to free my mind
realizing the blueprints inclined
to fit together presented clue by clue
yielding the facts whether or not you thought them to be true
it's a conflict
a time to follow the vision that could allow me to chine,
but i need to hold back,
for the man who might be living on borrowed time,
God and fam first, and the rest can come after,
comin from a man who only in his latter stages found the power of laughter
but i reside in this chapter, not torn between a decision
but torn because of the guilt of a wish to wanna follow my vision
ride it to the top and overlook the summit,
but without the peace of mind my soul would plummet
so i search for the ways to display,
gifts from God, that im determined never to waste,
displace the doubt,
and disengage from the crowd,
the life of chillin, a life a little too care free,
not losing my manner, optimism, or the child like wonder
its securing my plan so that the rug doesnt get pulled from under,
trying day by day to roll with punches, fate's path
settin me into motion, fighting to believe in the notion
that everything happens for a reason
but i know that path is to one day lead em
lead em from a self imposed prison,
lead em to the way where mistakes equal wisdom,
lead em to the place where rain gives way to prisms,
where a beaten down soul can take all they're givin
and still find the resillience to be driven,
the means? Im not sure,
but i guess its baby steps,
steppin towards disregardin rep
and more towards the forward then recollecting regrets
all in a day to which my mind wanders,
its in between contemplation and what it means to ponder
the possibilities and endless i know are waiting for me
and it allows me to fulfill my familial duty graciously.
In any other time this would be a low in my life,
but just lucky enough to see the tunnel in the distance
and I know through the passage leads to where the soul re-ups
but til then I'll be here preparin waiting for my train to pick me up
never thought i'd reach this level of independance,
even in a sense sequestered into solitude
loud to the multitudes and the crowd, only seems like faint remnants
as the reflections showed myself the side of a solemn dude,
its all about to accrue
experience to balance,
balance leads to different shades to color every graphic
combine it with the talents, to create a masterpiece everlasting.