!Empower!

I've been home now for about 2 and a half months, and more i think back to the way of life and the days of living in Irvine, the more I feel like i've sat in the Star Tours ride and been jetted off at Mach 5 into the present day, and the days of that mindset and specific oblivion is long gone.

After talking with a bunch of friends, I see that moving back home happens either at a point when something beyond your control happens and that responsibility to it must be fulfilled, or you come to a realization that this wondrous phase of your life would be better served as a period of powerful time in your life that will motivate and launch pad you into the next journey of life that will come to see your growth into a full and complete compassionate person come to fruition. I see it more and more these days, and the more i see that, the less i fight the want to move back down south, and I see that it truly might be the end of that particular chapter in my life. Granted, the people involved and influential in my life will always be a part of me and I will carry with them along with me as I grow and use the lessons they've taught me as the gifts i will impart on others as a way to pay it forward for in honor of all you who have taught me something, made me realize anything, and impacted me in any regard.

On the other hand living at home, you also see the power in your friends love and care for you. In those first couple weeks and month or so at home keeping in contact with all of you helped me figure out my doubts, get through my weaknesses and find a little light at the end of the tunnel for some of my insecurities. Just visiting last week was enough to give me a sense of contentment that still presides me as i write this in the moment. In that i see not only am I growing into this stage, but also as long as I keep in contact with you guys I won't and can't lose that optimism and a charge of positivity, and the ability to focus on the truly meaningful things in life.

Living at home also to me, is like a constant practice in self reflection. I almost feel like, sorry if this doesn't make sense, but at times I feel like I am my own best friend and confidant. I feel like I have so much inner conversation and reflection and that I go back and forth on my ideals, values, and thought processes, and I examine much more closely since I spend more of my time independently. But it's def not a bad thing, and I feel like the more i question things and come to a conclusion for them the more I can cement certain aspects of myself and carry them proudly.

Another thing too, is wow, the productivity rate at home is pretty fantabulous. I def know if i stayed back in Irvine/Costa Mesa, I would not have had the chance to learn some of the things about music, my fam, my friends, myself, and also come to peace with many things i left unsettled here. I guess I also live with a bit of a chip on my shoulder. part of me is determined to not let this experience pass without showing myself it made me stronger, and it's a chance for me to shoot for my own personal stars being under the radar in anonimity, having my head down chugging away inch by inch til i reach certain vision quests.

So i look forward to all my visits down south and get that breath of fresh air, and atmosphere of comfortability that will never change regardless of how long the periods of time in between our encounters.