!Empower!

Moving at the Speed Of Life. Also another  couple dope collabo between the two, Nothing Less, and Night Prowler, those are straight classics, that shaped and influenced my writing.

hey, so were now stuck in Missouri officially but inside Junior now at least. Hopefully we can reschedule the Wisconsin event for Wednesday and make a mad dash tomorrow if Junior gets repaired. But also I spoke to Mom today, and it was an hour long talk and it brought me back to earth about not getting so caught up on the road that I forget whats going on at home. I realized just how much Mom still is grieving and that her heart is broken, and that other issues in me, my sister, and my brother's lives also add to all of it. But I promised Mom that we will get through this and that well come together and show her she's not alone, and deal with this cause were all that we've got. 

we're like tom hanks in the terminal, except it's a Whole Foods in Kansas. I needed to do something to make me feel at home, and writing out a little freestyle stream of consciousness will do it for sure.

wrote to Sage Francis' going back to rehab instrumental


trapped in my own waiting, aimless
the pictures within sight but its frameless
names ray but in the moment im nameless
keep the namesake, for afraid's sake
to wake the patterns way,
it my disserta
tion, of amalgamation
pieces put together
hodgepodge of troubles
rolled into a batter,
to strike out the next batter
who pretends to matter,
image is a leech
so i extend to flatter
privilege served on a silver platter
h'orderves, nerves, unsteady footing
a hug to pull in, but its all pushing
forces of the north, boarding up our travels
build up or break down, gear up or unravel
ill gear up and place it on the mantle
use em as battle scars, and you can excuse it as why your so fragile
the pounding of a gavel, unloosens my saddle,
unhinges my spurs, but refuse to be rattled
i've been through too much
got back pops at my back riding gallant, got oats to sew
full speed ahead, crack that whip, while dads yellin Tally Ho!
so, I don't really see another option,
my visions focused, forward and onward
its action time, with a lot left to ponder
so don't presume i'm lost just because i wander.

Junior the RV
It first was a hot and cold relationship with us and Junior, seeing as he got some many people to come up to the RV and chat with us about what were doing. We've met Sonny and Nico in the middle of the night in a west texas gas station, 2 musicians moving from Cali to Atlanta, who just happened to sing at my sis' 18th bday/cotillion. We met Mikey/DJ Jester, Krista, performers who in the very essence of what they do share themselves, their flavor, and soul, and it's apparent in all of their music. We met a couple in Las Vegas who have been travelling for the past 6 years with a small mobil home, A activist fighting for LGBT suicide awareness, interested motorists, a freelance Sony camera salesman, and more good hearted folks who believe in defining your won road in life.

Buuuuuut, Junior has now cost us two going on three events now, and has been broken on 12 days of our 22 days on the road. Driving out of Dallas a couple days ago, we drove through Oklahoma and Kansas and got hit in the middle of a snowstorm, so we stopped in Overlan Park, KS, and camped out for the night, with a plan to wake up at 6:30 the next morn and start the drive to Madison for our event at U of Wisconsin. We got Junior started and were turning in the parking lot, when Junior went kaput. Just died. We spent the next two hours tinkering with him, adding antifreeze, oil, checking his levels, and consulting with friendly locals giving advice.

As 9:30 rolled around, Junior had to be moved, with Wholefoods about to have a busy busy day for the shoppers who had been snowed in from the previous days. So we starting pushing Junior in the icy parking lot, or at least we were trying to, when a family with two young sons, and a man who had just parked, came to our aid, and helped us roll Junior to another section of the parking lot. Even though we get troubles like this on the road, we are in turn blessed to see the humanity in a lot of people, their willingness to help out someone just because they need it.

We waited for half the day as someone suggested that Junior might have had his diesel gel up in the cold so we bought an additive that was suppose to help the fuel fight that, but it was becoming apparent that we had again missed on what was possibly wrong with Junior. So we called the emergency roadside assistance and they suggested that we have Junior towed, but that they wouldn't able to do it til today at 9am, we had no choice.

Now without Junior starting, we had no power for anything, no water, no internet, everything shifted, it seemed like with no destination to be able to go to, and no connection to our friends and fam, that we were floating vagabonds in isolation with no purpose but to kill time til we could get Junior fixed. So we went back to Wholefoods(for the 5th time), now known as the kids in the RV who broke down, the girls washed their hair, we charged up all our computers, cell phones, and used the internet before we'd have to go back into Junior for the dark powerless night.

And here we are today, back at Whole Foods(for the 6th time), as Junior was towed away, and we got more crushing news that he might not even be looked at until tomorrow, so now were vagabonds without a place to sleep at the moment, and waiting to see how this all plays out. It's been definitely a humbling experience, and it makes me see life from another aspect, and how a lot of the basics in life I take for granted, and I gotsta more thankful for those and not look at them with such a sense of entitlement, so this is definitely a neccessary and important experience right now, but hopefully we'll be able to hit the road soon, and do that work with students and regain that purpose!

Here's a pic from everybody's most unfavorite Aussie, the newest artist under my management Mariana "Go Melbourne, Iggy" Iglesias. But anywho, here's a little pick she's shown me and the more i listen the more I like, it's Muscles, with the song Ice Cream. He's performed in Australia with Daft Punk, and the more I listen the more the tracks grows on me. But also, check out Mariana's blog, I attached a link, she takes some good photos(under my direction), and she is an amazing singer, and she will blow up mark my word, so check out her blog and leave her some comments, she loves the attention, ok i gotta go, or else i'll never stop with the jabs, but check the track and Mariana's blog!

every inch we drive on the road, recontextualizes the fabric of my reality, expanding what I thought or knew to be comprehendable(just made up this word) in my mind. Driving constantly into a new unknown and observing it does wonders for a mind in contemplation. combining my previous absolute knowledge and then adding in new reality is a trip. It makes you realize that certain you things in your life that you took for granted and just figured was how things were, are just actually are perceptions and that there is no substitute for experience in life. You can hear others' stories about certain events, places, people, and take that as the truth, or you can go out and experience it yourself and create your own view of reality. I think it's hitting me hard, because i'm realizing how much I've been controlled by the mass mediated outlets i've grown up with, and how much I've bought into the stereotypes and perceptions created by them.

Just visiting Texas and having been able to stay there for an extended amount of time and kind of blend into the community in the way and create my own relationships with the its people have made me reconfigure a lot of my thinking as far my own identity and the nuances of the human relationship.

Today we are driving through Oklahoma in a bit of a snowstorm and had one of those reality meeting perception. We stopped at Taco Mayo, the Oklahoma equivalent of Taco Bell and when we went inside, a couple customers were speaking to the manager eveident that they knew him. I looked on the walls, and it had personal pictures of the staff in endearing poses and the manager's photo in the middle like the brady bunch/hollywood squares design, signifying a tight knit staff, but yet something more than that, almost like a family.The song playing in the background was a Countryesque Christian Rock Ballad with the singer belting out the chorus, "Preecccccccioooouuusssss JEEEEEEEEEEEESUS!". Observing the vibe of the staff, they continued to exude a real familiarity and comfort with each other, and exemplified to me a type of warm small town vibe. After we took off, we had trouble getting the RV out of the parking lot while snow was falling down, yet comes out the manager spotting our trouble and helps us navigate out. It was just small moment in time, just another day for those workers, but for me, it was a chance to juxtapose my everyday life, subleties,and existence as I see it in California through the simple experience of going to a fast food joint, and seeing the values and actions of a life completely different to yours. I never thought id think so much because of fast food.

Being the only hip hop fan out of the roadies, I knew that if I wanted to catch a hip hop show, I was gonna have to go to myself, so I decided eff it, I'm gonna do it. It was an amazing time, and all of the artists from Strage Famous artists killed it.

I was blown away by two emcees that I haven't heard of before but just rocked the mic and controlled the crowd in their own ways.

First was Scroobius Pip, who is from the England Hip Hop duo Dan Le Sac vs. Scroobius Pip. Scroobius looked like the a younger Billy Connelly, had a sharp sense of humor, a commanding presence, and had a mystery that was captivating, as you could tell the crowd was trying to get a read on him. But his energy during songs, his props, and his ideas for his tracks were hella original, and he a steezee all of his own. Consider me a new fan!


Second was the emcee Sleep, the last opener before Sage Francis. He lost his voice the day of, and was drinking honey all day to try to get it back but couldn't quite. But nonetheless, when his tracks played he ripped with an energy like scroobius pip, but also with a tongue twisting style just ripping off lyrics like it was nothing. Just his skill on the mic is amazing enough to keep you bobbing your head, but at the same wondering how he's able to do it. Check out his album "Christopher" off Strange Famous Records.

Lastly, is the man himself, Sage Francis. There is nothing else to say about him but he is a certified Mic Killer! The man is a hip hop virtuoso with the whole package: connection with the crowd, dope lyrics, beats that just beckon you to bounce, a charisma when presenting himself, and most of all a very humble man, who truly cares about hip hop and the preservation of self expression and creativity. Once i get a chance I'll upload a couple songs from his performance that night. But here's a couple recommendations you should check out! Peace!

Makeshift Patriot


Lie Detector Test

I was talking to mom last night, just talking to her checking on how she's been doing, and she started getting into how she wants more for me, and that life on the road is hard and that I'm exposed to danger, and that she wants me to have more financial stability in what I do. I started getting frustrated and I tried my best to explain to her that this is what I love doing, and that the whole road trip and the culture and mission of RTN is a true movement I wanna be a part of and something that not only brings me fulfillment, but it's the first true job that has a given me an engrained sense of purpose, and a meaning to my existence. I just had to realize at the end of it that Mom's concerns came from a well intended place, and that she want's me to be happy regardless, she would just prefer that it would happen through that which she defines as success. I felt the burden of constantly having to justify what i want to do all coming back, but I had to let her know that after God, and family, my mom and I differ, differ on what I find success to be and what I place importance on in my life. I tried to explain it to her without making her feel as though her advice was unwanted. I think we got off the phone with an I love you, but nonetheless at somewhat of an impasse.

Then Dad came to visit me last night in a dream in an amazing show of reassurance

In the dream, it just jumped into this scene where we saw Dad, picked him up, and decided we needed to get him back to Holy Angels(the mortuary) for some reason, and so ate started driving in a hurry, with mom in the front seat, while kuya and willa were inside the store shopping for groceries.

I was sitting in the backseat with Dad and he was dressed in a completely white suit, just like the one he married mom in, and he looked healthy in the face as he did before he got sick, and it's crazy because he looked just as the way that multiple people who have said they've had visions of Dad described him to be, right to the T.

But as we drove Dad was worried, he was fidgetting with his suit, and kept constantly giving us words of advice, to make sure we'd be ok, and I kept trying to reassure him and telling him not to worry, and that we would take care of it all. Then he asked me, "Did you get that Roadtrip Nation job?" I told him, "yeah Dad I got it, I got it". At that point his worries dissolved he went into an overwhelming loss of words he stood up and he told me to hug him and give him a kiss, and I could just feel his love in that hug, and I started sobbing and crying uncontrollably, the most real emotion I've ever felt in any dream, and then it faded out and I woke up and there were already tears that had been running down my face while i was still sleeping.

I've never had an experience like that, so powerful, so tangible in a dream, where the tears actually spilled over into my real ones, and I know it was Dad reassuring me what I am doing and what I want to be doing is the right thing, and he gives me his approval. Ever since I got the email from Jason for the roadie position, I knew it was Dad, hookin me up, letting me know that I had done my service to him by coming him and that he was setting me up to walk down my path in life now. i know he's here every step of the way.

9:14/11:14am 3/25/09

here's some videos of each of some of our interviews here in Austin check em out, as each of these artists truly were willing to share their stories as well as their art, so big thanks to all of them.

Blue Scholars and Common Market
No Rest For The Weary, I've posted this before but such a dope dope vid, it's the perfect tribute


Trouble Is, RA is such an eloquent dude, and his intellect brims when you speak to him, much much respect to him


Headlights - Cherry Tulips, crazy down to earth group and gave so much perspective on staying hungry to make music no matter where my location is.


Loney, Dear - Airport Surroundings - Emil, such a humble guy with a lotta love in his heart, and someone who pushes for individual creativity.

Thanks to all of you...I'm taking what you've passed on and running with it, and turning into something of my own.

the exposure to South by Southwest has been ridiculous.

I can't truly express the perspective, the self examination, and the questions I've begun to ask myself on this trip and these will all be in individual squares in completing my quilt in life. 

A feature on Mikey who were interviewing tomorrow w/ Krista aka Lederhosen Lucil. Check it out!

throughout this trip I know i'll be brimming with thoughts and contemplations and when i start writing a blog they'll all be rushing and fighting to get out of my head so i'm gonna write in more of a brief style and elaborate more later on. 

so much floating in orbit 

Man, as we speak we are on the RV at a stop in Barstow, while Mariana skypes her mom in Australia, and I write this blog after having an impromptu Roadtrip interview at a gas station. Amazing how roads connect people at certain times and at certain points in life all depending on circumstance and the twisting and winding roads we live in called life.

It's officially March 1st, therefore the eve of before the Roadtrip Nation Spring Campus Tour kick off!! I'm back home now and am glad that I have had this chance to go home and be with the family before such a tremendous opportunity like this. There's been so many instances that have occurred since Dad's passing that let me know this opportunity was meant to be and it has without a doubt continued to help me shape my path for the rest of life and the vision im chasing.

One of the coolest things that has ever happened to me and in regards with acceptance with my family and all my cousins and aunts and uncles went down as I came home on thursday night for the 40th day after Dad's passing . As I'm on my way home from the airport with Mario, I get a call from my sister asking me where I was and I told her I'd be home soon and she innocently said ok we'll see you here. When I pulled up to the house I saw my cousin Carlo see me walking up but still closed the door. I started knocking then when he opened the door it was all my cousins and aunts and uncles in the living room playing the song I made for Dad raising the roof with their west sides in the air yelling "Hey Dad!", and "Go Ryan, Go Ryan!" It was surreal with everyone dancing around just laughing and getting the usual rowdy as heck filipino family style. I saw my mom laughing and truly having a sense of pride in the song, and that meant more than anything else to me. It signified the acceptance of something I don't think I would have ever let her know I did unless my sister had played the song for her and my aunts. But that gift in itself to see my family back me up and be proud of me and enjoy it, has truly made me realize the need to continue writing and making tracks.

Also coming back definitely shows me what AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING opportunity I have. A month and a half ago, I wouldnt been able to have imagine a scenario like this, I would have thought it even absurd. But I know Dad was looking down on me with this one, and seeing the strength of Mom here at home, but also the daily struggle and battle she goes through on the daily without having her best friend and soul mate by her side, really tears me up inside. It makes me feel guilty for having such a wonderful outlook for my upcoming days, but at the same time I realize fully I need to seize these days, and give nothing less than all of myself on this trip and fulfill not only the repayment I owe to Roadtrip for letting me experience the New Zealand trip and to pay it forward, but also to fulfill what Dad ask me in his final days, which was to continue his dream of inspiring people if he couldn't go on to do it. I need to show Mom that her sacrificing and being lonely in order to let me go, was a sacrifice well worth it, cause I'm leaving an imprint on the world. I feel so blessed to just have this freedom to toy with the possibilities of the universe and what awaits me and what I can attain, and for that I'm coming focused and ready to roll, and make sure I hold it down for Roadtrip, Mom and Dad, and all those that readily give me the confidence to say they believe in me. Humbled beyond what I can express, God Bless, and be talking to you all soon-Ray