I can't truly express the perspective, the self examination, and the questions I've begun to ask myself on this trip and these will all be in individual squares in completing my quilt in life.
From seeing myself in comparison to those residents of rural texas, to myself against the mostly indie rock scene here at South by Southwest, to the content in which I write about, and my place in making hip hop music, and the therapy i receive from it.
It's perspectives I know I could never have received had I not gone on this road trip. the atmosphere in Austin is overwhelming, it's like a pseudo Berkeley-SF rolled together, with street upon street is filled with music heads, fans, artists, native texans, all concentrated into an area that reverberates into a constant energy brimming with life, and music spilling out out from every venue into the streets, allowing you to just walk around and venture into the next musical adventure your heart desires. It's something I think everybody should come out to see once in their life, as the city transforms into a giant music buffet for the week and really takes the creative side of your mind to another level just by being exposed to the atmosphere.
On top of that we've been able to interview cats who have inspired me, and have through the interviews helped me shape my artistic and creative identity even more. These being Mikey (DJ Jester), Blue Scholars, Common Market. They have all spoke in their own stories, but through their stories i feel like they are directly telling me to do me, to write me, to express me, and sacrifice it for nothing, and lead it in the direction that I believe in, that is relavent to me, and i feel like it finally is sinking in.
With the crazy atmosphere here that can consume you, and everything I am thankful for, it only takes one call home and talk with Mom to put it all in perspective for myself. Mom and I have become closer since Dad passed in a way that I just still can't believe or understand just quite yet, it's closer than any other best case scenario i could have thought of while Dad was still here, and I see it once again as one of the many gifts he's left behind for the fam.
But in talking to Mom, I hear a woman still grieving, a woman who in losing her husband, has lost some of her vibrance and zest for life. She talks to me about not really having the drive to do much else in life, and it makes me sad. But what amazes me is that she hasn't lost her faith, she still relies on it to tell me to focus here on the road, and focus on the job at hand, and to not worry about her, and to just keep praying and not forget to talk to and call on Dad when I need some assurance and guidance. She has also gained this foresight that I never had realized before, to actually comfort me now, once again something before I never thought she would ever be able to do because of our distance in relationship. But she has, and she reminds of what I need to do, and I'm going to push on, make a difference, leave a mark, change the world, empower others, whatever you wanna call it, in order to show her that Dad and her they have a legacy and to show them their devoted lives have had an affect on the rest of the world.
(holla at a bob, thanks yo!)
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1 comments:
holla atta playa
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