!Empower!

Being away from home, and hitting the road, has lead me to once again to search for what it is that drives me in my life, and to find my ultimate purpose in the life that I'm leading. I have focused on what it is I need to attain, what I hope to attain and how I need to get there. But somewhere along the road I lost my a little. In the regard that I started focusing on me way too much. I forgot to a certain degree back at home, Mom is still there dealing with greatest loss, living with ate, but alone most of the time. I started focusing on what I wanted but couldn't have, I started focusing on the lost opportunities, and I started focusing on the things out of my control a bit too much. I started to partly view myself as a victim, a victim of unfair circumstances. All of a sudden for a portion of the road, I lost a bit of the positivity that has guided me through life. I saw it unfair that the things I wanted and used to be a part of, I could no longer be, because the course of events in my life have changed me whether or not I try to control them, With those changes, comes a chain reaction of changes in all my relationships, priorities, my passions, and my interests. It's been so hard to deal with that transition on the road, and changes that have been forced upon.

Coming back and being able to decompress a bit from such an intense experience, I've had a bit of time gather my thoughts and self much more assuredly. I think what has really put me back in my place was watching Dad's slide show today. I just get taken aback watching it, and can't help but shed some tears for Dad's courage in the face of the physical end for him. I watch it, and it just staggers me to see that as the pictures progress and Dad loses weight and the cancer progresses, so does his smile. It just gets bigger and bigger, and more and more genuine. His true appreciation for the "circumstance" he was put in, as it served him a true avenue to really inspire people, and reach that apex of purpose he was searching in his lifetime.
He understood that his cancer was his blessing.
I know that he knew he had completed what he needed to here, and that he was ready for the next step. I'm just glad he left the perfect example for me to follow.

I'm realizing certain things. I'm realizing that the things I need to let go of, and let just be right now, is not because of I am a victim of unfortunate circumstances beyond my control, but I'm blessed to be put in certain situations that's gonna challenge me to strive higher than my own personal wants, and needs. I would love to have them, but as each day passes I know I need not to fight it, and get back into the groove of only controlling on what I can and only focus on that. And focus on that cliche goal that I have every intent of fulfilling for God, my family, my friends, and people in general, I'm gonna be the instrument that I'm supposed to be, and I'm gonna change the world.

Dad's smile pre-cancer



A little taste of that million dollar smile post cancer!